Blah Blah Blogging...

So its 11:52pm & I have the craziest headache... I think its due to that fact that I haven't eaten all day, to top it off Skie is in the front room making a lot of noise, can someone tell me why the eff this kid ain't sleep? SMT. In other news, I began packing tonight, it almost time to head back to the dreadful island of Turks & Caicos. I mean, I love my country but I just don't know why I get fed up after being back there after just a few months, Its HOT like all year round, my room doesn't have a/c (yet) & I have yet to find a damn job, the economy sucks major ass right now.

Lately I've been doing much better than I did a few months earlier. (quick recap)... Met the man of my dreams (or so I thought), fell in love with him, was going to marry him but after 2years shit just went south... It was a long distance thing but we always managed to see one another throughout the whole relationship, at one point he was even living with me in Miami... We had such a good thing, until I graduated college & moved back to the Islands.. Shit just started going South... Long story short, I broke up with him because I can't deal with unfaithful people, I mean I fucked up in a previous relationship so I am in no position to judge others, but b/c of what I did I know its not the life I want anymore, I hurt people in the process & now KARMA kick me right back in the ass... I took my losses & kept it moving, I was so hurt when we first separated, I segregated myself from family & close friends, the only thing that got me through was god, my Nephews & my moms Love... Oh yea & a lot of prayer. But yeah, I'm not ready for any relationships ANYTIME soon, but I am definitely going to love again, one day, I can feel it in my heart... For now, I'm going to enjoy singleness & all its benefits (smile).  My heart is almost back to where I want it to be, I still love him can't deny that... But I love me more.

I'm going to bed now, long shopping day tomorrow & I am finally going to renew this passport... Arghhh I hate downtown Miami.

-Condisa E

Followers

Yay, I have my 3rd follower lol, I am beyond EXCITED... Even thought 2 of them are friends of mine and they probably followed me out of the goodness of their heart, I'm still excited that someone listens to my ignorant & childish rants So today on December 5th I say THANK YOU for following me... With all my love (kisses).

In Other news, Christmas is drawing near (my favorite holiday), I'm super excited about that even though I probably won't get anything... I really wanted an IPOD touch with WIFI that can hold thousands of songs being that I am really into music especially odlies, but since that looks like it won't happen i'll just settle for quality time & lots of fun with my family & small circle of friends, thats all that matters to me at this point in my life. I can assure you that as soon as I get HIRED my first purchase will be an IPOD ☺.

Thats All For Now.

Sometimes

My Birthday

Smokey Eyes

There’s no Winter as we know it without some bold smokey eyes. With a gothic or a rockstar feeling, or maybe with a chic twist, there’s no doubt that, if there is a make up tecnique that women love, it got to be the smokey eyes. This is also my favorite look.






Credit to Lx State Of Fashion

What applies to me is BOLDED & COLORED

BOLD & COLOR what applies to you. Once your finish tag at least 10 people to do the same.

( whoever wants to do it can)

YOURSELF - I would like to change my name. I'm loud. I'm obnoxious. I'm sarcastic. I'm cocky. I have a bad temper. For the most part, I don't like most people. I'm easy to get along with. I like to fight. I have more enemies than friends. I drink coffee. I clean my room daily. My room always looks like a tornado hit it.

APPEARANCE - I'm shorter than 5'2. I wear makeup. I wear a piece of jewelry at all times. I wear contacts. I wear/need glasses. I currently have braces. I change my hair color often. I either straighten or curl my hair often. I have piercings that aren't in my ears. My ears are pierced.

RELATIONSHIPS - I'm in love. I'm scared of being hurt. I've been hurt. An ex has physically abused me at least once. I've been cheated on in a relationship. I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. I've been in love more than three times. I believe in love at first sight. I believe lust is more important than love.

FRIENDSHIPS - I've gotten a phone call in the last 24 hours from a friend. I've beaten up a friend. I've been in a serious fight with a friend. I can trust at least five people with my life. I'd give my life to save a best friend.

CLOTHES - I own a white hoodie. I own at least five pairs of jeans. I own at least ten pairs of shoes. I own a blue jacket. I own a pink jacket. I have at least five belts. I own at least three blue shirts. I own at least one pair of flip flops. I own at least two pairs of sweatpants. I've gone out in public in pajamas. I own at least three hoodies.

EXPERIENCES - I've been on a plane. I've been on a train. I've left the country. I've left the state/province. I've taken a taxi. I've taken a city bus. I've taken a school bus. I've gone bungee jumping. I've made a speech. I've been in some sort of club. I've won an award. I've spent 24 hours on the computer straight. I've been so angry I've punched a hole in the wall. I've been in a physical fight.

MUSIC - I listen to country music. I listen to pop music. I listen to rap. I listen to techno. I listen to R&B. I listen to punk. I'm one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it. I hate the radio. I download music. I buy CD's.

TELEVISION - I spend at least six hours a day watching television. I watch soap operas daily. I'm in love with Days Of Our Lives. I've seen and love The OC. I've seen and like One Tree Hill. I've seen Popular. I've seen and like Everwood. I've seen and like House. I've seen and like Gilmore Girls. I've seen and liked CSI.

HAIR - I've cut my hair in the past year. I've dyed my hair in the past year. I've been blonde. I've had black. I've been red/reddish. I've been light brown. I've been orange. I've been dark brown. I've had dark purple. I've been blue/green. I've gotten my hair thinned. I use conditioner. I've used silk therapy. I’ve used hot oil treatments. I've completely killed my hair. I've had dreadlocks. I've curled my hair. I straightened my hair. I've ironed my hair. I've braided my hair.

SCHOOL - I've thrown something at a teacher. I've yelled at a teacher. I've been suspended. I've been sent to the principal's office. I've walked out of class. I've skipped an entire day of school. I've skipped a whole month of one certain class. I've failed a test. I've cheated on a test. I've helped someone else cheat on a test. I've failed Art. I've failed P.E. `I've failed Socials. I've failed Science. I've failed another class. A teacher has called my parents. I've been caught skipping. I've been on the A/B honor roll. I've been on effort honor roll.

Happy Thanksgiving

"Today I have a cause for celebration. Today, I'm celebrating what an unbelievable life I've have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. I'm taking time to acknowledge my life and to praise myself."

I hope everyone have a blessed day & a wonderful thanksgiving tomorrow. I know I will.

Video Fab: Giggles

This is a cool video if you want a good laugh!

Throwback Tuesdays

Disable the Jamspree playlist teddybear at the right before playing. Enjoy

Fashion: Condira's Style

This is an outfit my sister put together, I'm feeling it a lot, its real casual but its cute. Enjoy

Life...

Pieces of her life - Part 15

Throughout her college years she continued to be with Mr. GQ, in one word he was simply "Amazing", on his off days he would visit her & when he wasn't around they would spend hours on the phone talking to one another. She loved him & that love was reciprocated, his other half was barely in the picture but after about 2 years into the relationship things changed, she began to mature & she started to see things differently. How young & naive was she? cheating on someone that was so good to her, falling in love with another girls man. Her & Mr. GQ made it to 3years but she knew this wasn't the kind of life she wanted & she knew she could do much better, she also knew that she deserved more & there was no future with Mr. GQ. So she left, they continued to speak via phone & he always told her how much he loved & missed her... She believed him but she knew that this couldn't go on. He often joked that even if she was married they would find their way back to each other {she doubted it}. She ran into him briefly on Christmas 07, after few minutes of talking to her he couldn't believe this was the same girl that had fallen in love with him few years back, all he could say to her was "wow, you are older, way more mature & a lot different than when we first met, but its a very good thing" that made her smile {And get this, she still had butterflies & was giggling like a schoolgirl}. Her whole outlook on life had changed & she had someone very special to thank for that {hint: he once said she changed his life}. She was maturing day by day & he told her how proud of her he was. That meant the world coming from him & although he doesn't know it he holds a special place in her heart. He change the whole course of her life & shes not mad at all. Does she still love him? Absolutely. But she has long since fallen out of love with him. In fact, shes been in love since him. But that is an entirely different story.

She knows she was wrong and on many occasions she has tried to justify her behavior, but there is no justification for what she did. Although the blame lies not entirely with her, she does acknowledge and accept her part in the situation. I'm truly sorry♥ - The End

Pieces of her life - Part 14

She was so much in love with this human being that she let her good sense get away from her, she didn't care who got hurt, as long as she was happy she was good. Many times she would lay beside her boyfriend & her phone would ring & as soon as she saw Mr. GQ's number she suddenly didn't want to be near her guy anymore. Her boo had charmed his way right into her life & worked his way into her heart. She knew she was doing a bad thing but she didn't think she was ready to stop. It was something about their love affair that excited her, got her all worked up & left her wondering about their future. She went over to his house one night & that very night her boyfriend had followed her, she lead him straight to her boo's house. That night they had their first fight.

They began to argue & a lot of stuff was said, she knew which one of his buttons to push so she did, he wasn't to happy about the things she said so he landed a slap right to her face... Sad to say but she had a headache days after the altercation. That didn't stop her, she carried on with her love affair & her boyfriend continued to be with her, she felt that deep down he knew she was lying all the time but still he chose to believe her, even when he caught her in places she had no business being after hours. They had broken up several times throughout the year but they always got back together, the flowers came more often than they did before & he continued to shower her with gifts & gave her whatever she wanted even though she knew that he knew her heart was with someone else. She left for college after the new year & eventually they drifted further apart and ended the relationship. Does she miss him? Sometimes, Does she still love him? Absolutely, but shes not in love with him. She often wondered what life would be like if they were still together, probably married with a kid... but that would always be left unanswered. However, they remained good friends to this very day.

Pieces of her life - Part 13

The next few months of her life was beginning to get a bit dramatic, about 5 months into this secret love affair her boyfriend realized that she had distanced herself from him completely, she didn't sleep over at his house anymore, she wasn't interested in having sex with him anymore... She literally went weeks without giving him sex, she was bitchy toward him most times, she didn't care to have him around her & she stopped nagging about trying to get more Quality time. Whenever he said he was going to hang with his friends her response was always "kool, have fun". Clearly this wasn't the girl he fell in love with. Word on the street was that, she had a special friend... He asked? she denied the rumors, he let it go. To her this was too easy, the first time she had ever cheated & it all felt so natural {how sad}. Lying became a daily part of her life & guilt was now a thing of the past. All she wanted to do was be in Mr. GQ's presence...

She had fun with him, he made her feel secure, he was sexy as hell & they had a homey-lover-friend kinda relationship, she could talk to him about anything & he allowed her to vent to him whenever she was angry, he never argued with her & when she was mad at him he always ensured that she didn't stay mad for too long, he did whatever he had to to keep a smile on her face & he did a damn good job. Than she wondered about the pictures on his dresser, these thoughts always consumed her, she asked in the beginning if he had a girlfriend & he laughed at the thought, NO was always his response. She asked a few people that knew him & they all said that he did have a girlfriend, however, he never came out & told her the truth. Yet there where pictures on his dresser with a lady that was unknown. After 6months of enjoying each other, she keep asking about the pictures, he didn't care to comment much on them. Finally after months of asking he told her the truth. He did in fact have a girlfriend... To say she was *heartbroken* was an understatement, here she was, treating her boyfriend like shit & in love with another girls man. he quickly helped her shove those thoughts aside, by wrapping his arms around her & kissing her forehead. Though she was upset she wanted to enjoy the moment, however long it lasted...

Pieces of her life - Part 12

Her boyfriend was on the other end of the phone demanding answers, answers she clearly wasn't ready to give, but still she managed to answer each one in a rather clam voice:

Her: I had my phone on vibrate

Him: Why?

Her: Because I had a headache & it kept making noise

Him: So where did you sleep?

Her: {Panic's} Home, in my bed

Him: So why weren't you answering the door, I was there knocking for the longest

{Mr. GQ emerges from the bathroom}

Her: I didn't hear anyone knocking, I got home from work, wasn't feeling well, took some sleeping & went to sleep.

Him: So where was your car? It wasn't park outside

Her: ____ had the car, she went out last night.

Him: O ok.

Her: where you at?

Him: At home getting ready to leave the house for work, i'll pass by you on my way there

{She thought to herself "that was too easy"}

She was up & putting her shoes on while walking out the door...

Him: Where you going?

Her: My man on his way by my house so I gotta get there before him. Later

Pieces of her life - Part 11

It was about a month after she met him & she was still enjoying his company, her boyfriend hadn't even noticed that she was slowly distancing herself and spending more time with someone else. She would go over to Mr. GQ's place a few days through the week when she got off from work & they would sit in her car & chat it up, but all that was about to change. She got to his place about 9pm one night & she rings his phone to say she is outside than hangs up. After a few seconds she heard her name call so she turn her window down & looked up:

Her: Aren't you coming down?

Him: I don't live outside {chuckles}

Her: I ain't coming in there

Him: Man just come, please

Her: Well I'll just go home than

Him: I don't want you go just come, you don't have to stay long if you don't want to.

Her: Whatever.

She got out of her vehicle & went to join him on the balcony, they went inside & she was impressed, it wasn't your typical bachelor's pad.. It was rather nice. They sat in the sofa & watched TV for a bit before going into his bedroom, they got to the bedroom & he turned the DVD player on, there was this song that came blasting into the speakers... She was sitting on the bed bobbing her head from side to side, as much as she didn't like rap she was quickly becoming a fan of this song:

Her: Whats the name of this song? I've never heard it

Him: December 4th remix by Jay-Z

Her: Nice song, I love it

He sat on the edge of the dresser & motion for her to come to him, she did... He wrapped his arm around her & gave her the biggest bear hug she'd ever had & than a peck on the lips.

Him: I've wanted to do that ever since the first day I saw you.

He release her & they sat up on the bed talking & listening to Jay-Z, while he constantly reminded her of how beautiful she was than quickly took his thoughts back when she would reply "I KNOW" {can't blame a girl for being a bit cocky}. At first she thought, "if he thinks he's getting something, he has another thing coming" but she realized all he wanted to do was get to know her & enjoy her company, and thats exactly what they did, talked, listened to music & enjoy each other's company. She fell asleep in his arms that night, feeling so comfortable around him... She felt as if she had known him for years. She woke up the next morning to sweet kisses on her forehead... She was over the lust thing... Clearly she was in love & she wished the feeling never went away, she loved feeling butterflies every time she was around him. As he got up to get dressed for work, she picked up her cell phone... 7 miss calls, just as she was about to flip it close it began to vibrate in her hand.

Her: Hello

Him: Why the hell you wasn't answering your phone all night?

Pieces of her life - Part 10

She got to his apartment in less than 5minutes, they lived around the corner from each other. She park around back than got in his car. They arrive at the bar about 10minutes later & she ordered a gin & juice {her favored drink at the time}, he ordered a drink as well & they sat & talked away. After about an hour they got back in his car & rode around & just hung out with each other. It was a great day, he had to be back at work for 7 that night so they went back to his place where her car was park. After giving her a hug she slid into the driver seat of her car & started the engine, he was still standing at the door. They looked at each other and smiled, it was somewhat an awkward moment for both of them, but being tipsy made it more easier for her to just sit there & stare. Her cell phone vibrating brought her out of a trance but all she wanted to do was give Mr. GQ a kiss on those soft looking pink lips. She looked down at the screen & frowned her face:

Him: The boyfriend?

Her: Yup

{Flips phone open}

Her: Hello

Him: Where you at?

Her: Out.

Him: Out where?

Her: On the streets

Him: Where you going?

Her: Home

Him: Well i'm on my way there now.

Her: Yea {hangs up}

She looked him over once more before they said there goodbyes. When she got home her boyfriend was already there waiting, as she got out of her car she didn't bother to look at him, she just keep walking & headed straight for the front door. Inside she threw her keys on the table & headed to her bedroom.

Him: So you still mad?

Her: Not at all dude, i'm over it

Him: So why you didn't say anything to me when you pulled up?

Her: Nothing why, just ain't in the mood for company.

Him: So basically you mad?

Her: Stop questioning me.

Him: You coming sleep by me?

Her: No

Him: Well I'll sleep here than

Her: Whatever

Pieces of her life - Part 9

Although they spoke often on the phone few weeks had passed since she'd last seen Mr. GQ & she couldn't stop thinking about him & she couldn't help but wonder if he was somewhere thinking about her too, for every time she thought about him she got excited & she couldn't wait to be in his presence once again. Slowing she turned over onto her side & couldn't help feeling sad because here she was on a Saturday morning, lying in bed thinking about another man all while her boyfriend his right beside her watching TV. How selfish is this she thought, she was once again consumed with guilt.

Her: Babe, I love you.

Him: I love you too.

Her: Lets do something today.

Him: I don't feel like going anywhere.

Her: C'mon man, I'm bored

Him: Man lets just watch TV & chill.

Her: You never does want go nowhere when I ask you to. SMT

Him: Cause Ain't nowhere to go.

Her: We could always go for lunch or even some drinks somewhere.

Him: Man I ain't feeling that Vibe today.

Her: You never feeling that vibe. (She is upset)

Him: Why don't you just call some of your friends & ya'll can go

Her: If thats who I wanted to go with I would have called them

Him: So you suppose to be mad with me eh?

Her: Man don't ask me nothing, i'm going home see if I can find some place to go. Later

She left his place *upset* because no matter how she tried to get him to do something with her, she was always UN-SUCCESSFUL, & that saddened her more than anything. She went home, took a shower & got dressed while thinking to herself {guess I'll go have a drink by my damn self than}. Just as she was about to leave the house her cell started to ring;

Him: Wassup Lady

Her: Hey, nothing right here bout to head out

Him: Where you headed?

Her: Not sure, trying to find somewhere to go

Him: Want to go have a few drinks with me?

Her: Sure why not.

Him: Ok, well meet me at my place, you can park your car in the back & i'll drive my ride

Her: Kool, see you in about 5minutes

Him: Kool.

Pieces of her life - Part 8

As she sat in her car waiting for him to come out, the butterflies continued to fly around in her stomach. Seconds later she heard a tap on the window which made her jump because she didn't remember seeing him emerge down the staircase. She unlocked the doors & he slid in the passenger seat, he was still wearing the same outfit that she saw him in earlier with a fitted hat pulled way down on his head, through her eyes, he had the sexiest pink lips she had ever seen... She couldn't stop staring. They began to talk & she than realized what a sweet soul he was. They talked about everything... Their lives, their jobs, likes & dislikes & slowing she began to be comfortable around him. She didn't realize how fast time sped up, she look at the clock and it was well past 5am, she decided it was time to go home & get some much needed sleep. They said their goodbyes & she promised to come & see him again, all she needed was a date & time.

Pieces of her life - Part 7

The rest of the night went by smoothly, she enjoyed the company of her family & friends but for some strange reason she couldn't seem to get the thought of Mr. GQ out of her mind, she couldn't help the fact that she wanted to know more about him & his life, what would it be like to spend some QT with him... Than it hit her, she was in a committed relationship, so this man that she was so much in lust with was very much off limits... Still she thought it would be nice to have someone pay attention to her, if only for a little while. After one to many drinks she decided she was ready to go home. She left the party & about 3minutes away from home her cell started to vibrate, as she reach over to the passenger seat to grab it, she briefly glanced at the screen before flipping it open.

Her: Hello

Him: Whats up Lady

Her: Nothing

Him: You busy eh?

Her: Nah, on my way home

Him: How far are you

Her: Almost home

Him: Come look for me

Her: For what?

Him: I want see your face before you go to bed

Her: You just saw me

Him: So. I want see you again

Her: There's always tomorrow, i'm going home

Him: You don't have to stay long, just want to see you before you go to bed

Her: Give me couple minutes, i'll call you when I reach

As she hung up the phone butterflies flew all around in her tummy, she thought to herself {why am I going to see him at 4 in the morning} part of her knew it was wrong but the other part was curious & wanted to know more... After all, she was only going to say goodnight, there's no harm in that right? She quickly placed those thoughts aside as she pulled into the driveway. She picked up her phone {Nervous as ever} & dialed...

Him: Hello

Her: I'm outside

Random Confessions

1. I can't sleep in the dark unless someone is sleeping with me, or else the TV has to be showing in the background if i'm by myself.

2. I just want to give love, receive love & be in love.

3. I have to have ketchup on my chicken & fries else it won't taste right lol.

4. I think burger king burgers & fries are the best.

5. I have a fear of being FAT but I love greasy food, Pizza & fry chicken being my favorite.

6. I want the perfect office job, in a top position with a FAT salary & I want to live a glamorous yet simple life.

7. If I was where I want to be in life I'd make a baby TODAY.

8. I am shy when it comes to meeting new people.

9. People inspire me.

10. Disney Chanel Rocks.

11. Public speaking scares me.

12. FAILURE is my biggest fear. Really it is, there is so much I want to do & so much I know I am capable of but I tend to hold out because I fear I won't succeed. I need to work on that!

13. I am an internet junkie, I stay on the computer like all day, I get irritate when someone is on a computer & I'm not. :s

14. I live for great novels but I only read African American romance. I don't understand why i'm not open to other types of books but hey I ain't complaining.

15. My birthday is coming up in a few days & I'm not excited.

Boy Meets Girl

"This is how the story goes, boy meets girl and soon he knows there's a special magic in the air. He loves her eyes, he loves her smile, he loves her laugh and all the while he knows his life won't work if she's not there. So he prays to God, he says Father let it be. I know you made this angel just for me. And he takes her hand, says I need you in my world. And that's how the magic goes, when boy meets girl." -Author Unknown

How is it that two people come together, connect, vibe and join up? What is it that influences two hearts to unravel a bit, become vulnerable, and open up to another person?

Pieces of her life - Part 6

Although she was in lust, she knew she could never be what he wanted her to be, she kept telling herself that & she kept reminding herself that she was in love with her boyfriend. After getting her drink, she tired to make a clean getaway before he stopped her... She wasn't lucky! He approached her & they began to talk:

Him: Hey you.
Her: Hey.
Him: You looking lovely as ever tonight.
Her: Thanks. {Blushing}
Him: How you been?
Her: I've been good, How bout you?
Him: Good ya know.
Her: True. (silence from both)
Him: Didn't except to see you out here tonight.
Her: (Smiles) I came out with my aunts, needed to get out the house for a while.
Him: True. I still want to get to know you.
Her: I already told you I have MAN & I'm not that type.
Him: I not trying to make you feel like your a bad person but I can't help the fact that I like you...
Her: I hear ya.
Him: Well at least give me your number so I can call to say hello sometimes.
{Her heart was saying no but her mind was screaming "girl give him that number, dude is super fineeee" Lust slowing taking over}
Her: Give me your phone.
{Hands her the phone, she programs name & number}
{He rings her phone & she stored his digits}
Him: Well I'll let you get back to enjoying the party. Nice seeing you.
Her: You to. Talk to you LATER

As she walked away, guilt once again consumed her... She thought to herself "Why did I give him my number?"... But although she was happy with her boyfriend, deep down she couldn't help wanting to know Mr. GQ a bit better, It was like wanting something that you knew wasn't good for you...

Pieces of her life - Part 5

Weeks went by & she hadn't seen him since their first one-on-one encounter at the gas station, which was fine in her books, he wanted to get with her but she wanted to get her boyfriend to spend more time with her which pretty much wasn't working out... It was almost Christmas time {Her favorite holiday} & she was looking forward to spending time with those who mattered, there was this upcoming party she wanted to attend & she was hoping her boyfriend would attend with her but somehow she knew that wasn't going to happen... She didn't give up though, she keep asking & hoping he would say yes. The night of the party she tried one more time to get her boyfriend to go to the party with her, but his only response was "I'm tired & I have to work in the morning, you should go with your friends & have fun". She didn't respond, she walked out of his house *heartbroken* while thinking to herself "I bet if your boys told you to come out you would have". She went to the party with her aunts & upon arriving at the bar... There he was, standing with his friends looking like something straight out of GQ magazine... She couldn't help it, she was in LUST

Pieces of her life - Part 4

She had just pulled into the gas station to get a tank of gas so that she could be on her way... As she was reversing, she didn't realize that a car had pulled up behind her... The car than began to blow their horn causing her to stick brakes suddenly... Someone jumps out of the vehicle & came straight to her car & yanked the door open as if they were going to give the driver a beat down, but as soon as he realized she was the driver his face softened & he nodded to the other passenger in the car behind her as if to say "everything kool" then shouts "Go Head, I'm str8". He jumps into her car & she began looking at him like "dude get the hell out my ride" & their first argument began:

Her: Dude, why are you in my car.
Him: Give me a ride home.
Her: But your friend is right there, let him take you.
Him: Man, I don't live far from here, I right round the corner.
Her: Doesn't matter, Go with your friend. (looks back & friend is leaving)
Her: Yo, Your ride is going leave you.
Him: I know, your gonna give me a ride home.
Her: SMT (she was irritated)

As she approached his house he told her to put the car in park & so she did, he began to talk about how much he liked her & wanted to be apart of her life, she listened but the only response she could mutter was that she had a boyfriend & wasn't thinking about or ever will CHEAT. She felt guilty enough sitting in a car with someone other than her boyfriend, she just wanted him to get out of her car so she could be on her way... He continued to talk & she continued to state the fact that she was very much happy, even thought deep down she thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to when her boyfriend was busy in the streets with his friends... But she was not that type of girl, she was the committed type & she would never cheat... OR WOULD SHE??

Pieces of her life - Part 3

She made up her mind that she would except her boyfriend as he was, even if it meant not getting the attention she knew she deserved, I mean, he was sweet, he loved her, he didn't argue with her, he supported her decisions even if he didn't like it, he took care of her financially, he spoiled her with gifts & she always got flowers when they were upset. On the outside looking in, one would say "damn, she sure is lucky" & maybe she was but she couldn't help that she wanted more from him, more public display of affection, more quality time, more time to plan their future, call her selfish but she wanted him all to herself, she didn't want to share him with his friends... The same friends that took up most of his time, causing her to spend more lonely nights in his bed than she cared to remember.

Pieces of Her Life - Part 2

She complained that they weren't spending enough time together so he tried to do better & make an effect to spend more time with her, it was almost as if they were beginning to be happy again but slowing his old habits resurfaced & she was once again left at his house by herself in his lonely bed until he decide to show up... But one night would change her whole life! She got to his job to give him a ride home from work, parked at the curb was a black Honda Civic & as she got out of her vehicle, someone whispers her name... Curious, she followed the sound & it led her straight to that black Honda... As she peeped inside, there were 2 faces but only one was familiar... Exchanging Hellos, she spoke briefly to the familiar face who than introduced her to the other passenger. Few minutes passed before her boyfriend walked through the double glass doors of his workplace, she quickly said goodbye to both passengers & joined her boyfriend... In unison they walked to her car & went home for some Quality time & cuddling! At least that night she didn't have to share him with his friends... IN THAT MOMENT SHE WAS HAPPY

Pieces of her life - Part 1

It all Started a few years ago when she fell in love with another girls man!

She had it all going for herself, great job, perfect apartment, nice ride, great friends, boyfriend that was good to her but it still felt like something was missing... Her boyfriend, although he was good to her, they were complete opposite people, she was young & wanted to party, he recently had a kid & wanted to focus on his career & stay low key... For a while things went that way but after she slowed down on the partying, he was never home enough.. When she wanted to spend time and be given some attention, he opted to hang out with his friends & keep late nights in the street... Everyday that she left work she would go to his home & stay there till he got in, weather it be 2am, 3am, or 4am... No matter how late he came in he never came home to an empty bed. That was until she met... HIM

I Love...

I love loyalty to me and everyone. I love compassion. I love selflessness. I love integrity. I love devotion. I love confidence. I love to help others. I love courage. I love romance. I love to laugh. I love learning new things. I love giving chances. I love being loved. I love being treated like a lady. I love my future husband. I love kids. I love pizza. I love banana bread. I love baking. I love cooking. I love making scrapbooks. I love fashion. I love watches. I love romantic movies. I love scary movies. I love Christmas. I love cuddling. I love my family. I love singing. I love acting silly. I love creativity. I love not feeling hurt. I love a big heart.

Via Fashion Bananas

Scripture Sundays

"I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have the faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does me no good."

1 Corinthians, 13:1-13

Un-cut...

...Yesterday I got up to go & take my nephews to the barber shop across the street from our apartment, mind you, I didn't get any sleep the night before, basically I was up lolli-gagging... Anyway I got to the barber shop & was patiently waiting for the next available chair, all I wanted to do was hurry up get this process over with so I could get back home & get that much needed beauty sleep. Something in me said to ask the barber if they take credits cards which I did & his response was simple "Nah we only take cash"... OK, so what am I gonna do now?? I have no cash on me, my nephews head look like s#!T & I am sleepy.. I though to myself "Think Lady Think..." He reply's "there is an ATM in the store at the end of the building".. That sounds great IF ONLY I COULD REMEMBER MY PIN... So I get to the end of the building used the ATM & guess what it says "Invalid Pin" SMT as if the day can get any worst... I politely took my nephews & walked back home, when I got there I did a little searching in my wallet & guess what I found? The Pin to my credit card... I don't know who was gonna walk back across that road but I know it wasn't gonna be me. I HAD SLEEP TO GET CATCH UP ON, so yea, the boys goes another day with their hair UN-CUT.

Morning Wood

I know Black is beautiful, but there are plenty of non-chocolate cuties that catch my eye too & Adam Rodriguez is one of them.


James Hardy Is So yummy... Dayumm



♥Condisa

Friday the 13th

Day of fear or fun?

Some people say today isn't a good day to cross the path of a black cat or launch a new venture... What do you think? I don't believe in going out on Friday the 13th... I would stay home all day if I could :s

Anyway I'm looking forward to some good horror movies today



♥Condisa

Irritating...

...Hola my fellow bloggers, there isn't much I want to blog about to, not much going on in my life... I'm still in Lauderdale & i'm really looking forward to going home (the islands) soon for one reason only... Camorii Skie... THIS KID IS WORKING MY NERVES, its like all I do nowadays is shout... "Stop it", "Behave", "Don't Do That", "Don't Hit Kai"... You get the drift? So today I left him in the tub to bathe while I went to throw out the garbage, (my sister was in the house) I come back to find him outside butt naked & crying... WTH??? SMT, I was so pissed but at the same time I was glad sister caught him because if something were to happen I couldn't explain that to his father (my brother), When did he learn to open the door?? Anyway I'm just ready to send him back to his parents.. This is too much & I just learned that I don't have the patience to deal with this ish.. I'm considering NOT having any.

In other news, when I reach back to the islands its job hunting time again, I'm a little scared because I don't want to be underpaid, I have the degree but I don't have the experience and my whole thing is I don't want to get stuck doing something that I don't love or enjoy... An ex-coworker told me don't settle for ANY job just because the economy is bad, he said to never give up hope & keep praying... So that's what i'm gonna do!

BTW when I have a daughter I'm gonna name her Brooklyn or Autumn

♥Condisa

Thank you blogger

I was browsing blogs today & came across this really cool blog that belongs to this lady with the name C.A. Hayes, as I was going through her posts, something she wrote became very interesting to me & I wanted to share it below because its exactly how I felt when I began blogging & starting reading other peoples blogs:

I never really understood internet relationships, how serious bonds can form through merely written communication, but now I do. When I started this blog in February 2009, I didn't know what would come out of me rambling about things I feel strongly about and openly sharing pieces of my life, my heart, in the world wide web. Little did I know that I was actually opening myself up to some really amazing people, some much like me and others extremely different, who want to be heard in some form or fashion. Blogger has allowed so many people, including me, to share their journey with each other. I'm able to be vocal about things I've kept in forever years. I love reading into someone else's reality and realizing that I'm not the only one. It's like a enormous discussion between cyber family and friends. I get so much inspiration from knowing that. In a world where I am so commonly misunderstood, I'm in a community of people who understand completely, and all the comments and emails reassure

Check her blog out, she has some interesting stuff. http://thesweetheartchronicles.blogspot.com/

Random

I decided that to keep my blog a bit more organize when it comes to my fashion picks i'm only gonna post fashion once a week, i'm not sure which day but it'll be once a week & from time to time you'll see Fashion picks from my friends & family or if I find blogs with cute fits I'll post it on here with a link to where you can find the originals... The whole purpose of this is to give u a look at the styles of others & not just me.

p.s. Am I the only one that follows my blog?? Thats lame.. I need followers...

No sleep again

It's like 3:28am & sleep is still very far... I am bored so i'm blogging... I don't even know what to blog about... I am hungry and the only thing in the kitchen to eat is egg & hot dog... Sucks right?? I can eat a pizza or a juicy hamburger from 'da munchies'...

Not much happened today, I sleep all day.. Thats basically the story of my life.. Get up, eat, watch tv go back sleep... Boring huh? I know.. Anyway i'm gonna probably play a game until I get sleepy because I really have stuff to do in the Am...

Happy B-day Mummy

Happy B-day Mother I hope you love the video

The Rewind w/ Disa

After a long anticipated wait & a lot of frustration I am finally able to post this interview... I tried uploading it on every site that I could find but was always given the error message "this file is 2 big", "Try again" "video has been removed". However, I did not give up so here is the video below, It's an interview with Condira {my sister} and in the future you will see many of these as I will interview other friends & Family or even Random people on the street.

Bear with me, this is my first interview. Enjoy



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I think I have Insomnia…

…I’m lying in bed & it is 6:25pm, I didn’t get to sleep until around 11am this morning now I am really starting to believe that I have a bad case of insomnia… I cant exactly say that I know how a zombie feels but I sure do know that they walk & talk very slow & that is just how I was this morning, my body literally SHUT DOWN on me.

I mean its only been a few months since I’ve graduated college so I should be use to this but after moving back to the Turks & Caicos Islands, my was able to control my sleeping cycle.. I Went to bed on time & woke up well before 8am in the morning… Maybe I should take Tylenol PM every night, yea that should fix the problem, no forget that, I might OD & than become an addict. Maybe I’ll just lye in the bed at night & look at the ceiling & count until sleep comes…

So much for moving back to FL… The state that NEVER SLEEPS {Sigh}

Music Monday

Happy Birthday Jess

23years ago on this day {Nov. 9th) A bouncing baby girl was born & her parents thought she was white so they gave her the name Jessica Katie... Little did they know she would grow up to be one of the blackest girls I know & on this day I would like to say happy happy birthday Jess, I hope that all your b-day wishes come through & I am happy to have you in my life... We'll celebrate when I get home {God Spears Life}.

Easy Like Sunday Mornings

Hey Yall, I'm just waking up for day & it's like 5:24pm... Thats sad, I didn't get to sleep until well after 7am, I kid you not when I say I NEED A LIFE. Anyway today is pretty much gonna be a lazy day for me, I won't do much beside listen to music, probably watch a little TV & maybe play some computer games.

In other news my mom called earlier & had the audacity to rub in my face her food options for the day.. BBQ Ribs, Bake Chicken, Peas & Rice, Scallop Potato {my fav} & sweet carrots, talk about missing my moms, I MISS THAT DAMN FOOD. She told me that the weather was nice, I wish I was home just to get some of that {I live for chilly weather} I know that sounds weird being that i'm from the Island & all & we usually see sun all year round but i'm far from the normally Islander... I also miss my brothers & I can't wait to see them so that I can make them miserable.

Anyway I'm going to cook something to eat now so that I can satisfy my stomach & than i'm gonna browse Facebook... The site that truly ruin lives...

Fashion

I was browsing a few websites earlier today & came across some more fashions but there were a few outfits that sparked my interest and they came from from Ms. Melanie Denise. Click here to see more fits from her blog post! Which is your favorite?

Fashion: My Style

Along with the new change in hair color I also want to change up my look a bit and go for a more sexy yet classy look... Presently I am a plain Jane & I would throw on a pair of jeans, a dressy top, some heels, a clutch and be on my way but i'm ready to make a statement... I put together this outfit at Polyvore.com... its my first of many to come! This look is simple but with the cardigan, the tote & the pumps, to me that screams sexy and its perfect for lunch on saturday with the girls or even a night on the town! What do you think?

Hangover Saturdays

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Gadgets: Amazon Kindle Vs Barnes & Noble Nook

I've been wanting to get a kindle for the longest being that I'm an active book reader, when I saw the gadget on Oprah I was like "WOW, I got to have this".. Anyway I waited a while because a lot of the reviews were bad, so after a while they bought out the Kindle 2, although the reviews were bad I still wanted one but there was a problem... It was for US use only, mind you at the time I was living in the US but I would be returning to the Islands shortly as I was just about done with University, so I thought ahh well another gadget I won't be able to get... So a few minutes ago I was searching Barnes & Noble & I saw that they had released their own version of the kindle called "Barnes & Noble Nook," I got excited thinking yay, maybe this will be available for use outside the US.. I was wrong... Dream once again chattered... So I went back to Amazon did some more research & guess what I found "Kindle International" It simple stated "We are excited to now ship Kindle to Turks and Caicos Islands. Customers in Turks and Caicos Islands will enjoy: Books in Under 60 Seconds, Free Wireless, Growing Selection: (Over 300,000 English-language books to choose)& Low Book Prices (as low as $5.99). I am more than excited... I am on this NOW!

Quote Of The Day

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." - Donna Roberts

Fashion & Style

Fashion is constantly changing and a new trend or style comes out almost everyday, This fall season many are rocking "cardigans" which I might add is a really cool accessory, you can dress it up or dress it down... While i'm not one to follow a trend I must say that I am eager to try a few styles that I see my favorite celebs or just your everyday ordinary people rocking. Check out Kim Kardashian rocking her cardigan with a plain shirt & ripped jeans:
Via Kim's Webiste: Click Here

Helping Families around the World

Many people around the world are in desperate need. Poverty, death, disease, and disasters wreak havoc in the lives of millions. Many times little children are the ones who suffer the most from these problems, and they are the ones most desperately in need of your help.

How You Can Make a Difference

Feeding Programs
Sponsor a Child
Disaster Relief



Click Here to visit Feed The Children

New Music - Trey Songz

Dayummmm... Thats all I have to say LOL... So here's the new Trey Songz music video and dude is getting it in, I kid you not when I say he can get it... Video is super sexy. Take a look:

Good Hair

For a while now I've been wanting to color my hair but the courage never came, anyway a few months ago my life took a U-Turn & I went though a ruff time, few months later and I am slowly beginning to see the light of day, I find myself happy most days, life is getting better & each day gets easier... So after my new found happiness I decided what better way to celebrate than to change my hair color... Before I went the full mile and colored my natural hair I tried a lace front (which I LOVE) with the color that I want to change my hair to, at first I didn't like it but after playing with it for a few minutes it began to grow on me & I couldn't be more happier with the decision... So I'll rock this lace until I decide to color my natural hair, probably X-mas... Look out for that

Throwback Tuesdays

Feelings Keep Getting The Best of Me!

Just wanted to share something that I wrote Back in 2005, I was browsing the other night and came across this... Kinda funny when I look back at the actually night that I wrote this! Enjoy

OK, So there I was chillin surfing the net & chatting with a few friends when he suddenly pops us and tells me that my display picture is SEXY....WOW.... did i think he did what he really did do, after all these weeks of trying to contact him & not gettin an answer & even worst no damn REPLY and now he thinks he can just pop up and say something to me.... DAMN HIM☹!!!!!!!!!!

How do some men even sleep at night, knowing the torture that they tend to put us through, I HATE HIM SOO MUCH RITE NOW....or Do I?????? (hmmm...I LOVE YOU) Im soo confused, I wanna let go sooo bad, but feelings alwayz seem to get the best of me especially when it comes to my judgement...

So now I replied to him & im like WOW...HE ACTUALLY SPEAKS TO ME!!!!! Then he does something that isn't so surprising to me GOES BACK INTO SILENT MODE!!! For some reason I try to show him that I don't care but than it kills me even more because really I do!!!! This is the man that makes everything right with me, he knows how to put a smile on my face, actually he's everything I ever wanted but than again theres no such thing as a perfect free man, i say this because he belongs to her yea ain't that a BITCH!!!!! But than he says he LOVES me & we've been down for a minute now. Can someone be in LOVE with two ppl all at once?

So today I was repeating the same thing in the same order, surfing the net & chattin with friends but this this time the sexy picture was gone, so he decides to talk to me again "NO SEXY PICTURE TODAY" was his words... ok now im pissed off all over again & im thinkin DAMN DO I HATE HIM!!!!....I replied by say 'WHAT IS UR PROBLEM, Y DONT U LEAVE ME ALONE"...than he decides its time he breaks the silence & start talkin to me & asking me questions, me being the person that I am starting answering with smart remarks!!!

Now he knows that he had push my HEAT button & he knows that im real FURIOUS with him so this the point where the internet is no longer needed, he decides its time for a phone Convo lol .
So now the Convo is gettin heated & we're arguing & than all of a sudden i find my self tellin him I miss him AGAIN MY FEELINGS HAVE GOTTEN THE BEST OF ME! I've alwayz been a sucker for his love man.

SO TRUIN I LOVE HIM & DON'T KNO IF IMA BE ABLE TO LET HIM GO ANYTIME SOON. Yes baby I do love you & alwayz will & feel like im goin crazy cuz ur not here but I kno u love me too soo we'll be ok!!! I guess

Lame write? I know, but can you fault me for falling in love? We can control who we fall in love with so I have no regrets, though we are no longer an item we do have a good friendship... The blog was lame but hey I was only 18 lol